Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Uppers and Downers

The first in what is sure to be an irregular series of items documenting the things which have pleased and displeased me in recent times...


  • Those giant four pack of cookies you get in Tesco. If you've tasted them you'll know the ones I'm on about.

  • The Undateables - guilty pleasure? Why don't I feel guilty then.

  • Rafael da Silva, the embodiment of what it means to play for Manchester United.

  • The bantz between Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman on Pointless.

  • Borgen, arguably even better than its compatriot The Killing.

  • Bed time flatulence. My own not anyone else's.

  • Behaving like someone half your age while feeling like someone twice your age.

  • Discovering bands from bygone eras and having an entire back catalogue to enjoy.

  • Conscientious customer service, as surprising as it is delightful.

  • Youtube videos of dogs being dogs.

  • Kelley Kapoor from the US Office, both for her acting abilities and her dusky good looks.

  • The look on a loved one's face when receiving an unexpected gift.

  • The word 'impromptu'. It sounds like it should be a naughty sex act – I got caught having an impromptu with yer wan down an alley.

  • RTÉ News Now, about time we got a dedicated news channel.

  • Doing your level to best to ignore all talk of economic crises, resulting in a much happier existence.


  • Russell Howard, the worst 'comedian' currently on TV. And that's quite an achievement in this day and age.

  • The vague, unseen boundary between the women's department and the men's department in certain clothing stores.

  • Trying on a 'ladies hat' in one of the aforementioned stores.

  • Those inane Facebook posts which tell you to “repost this if you've got a sister/brother/mother/father/auntie/uncle/cousin/gran/grandad that you love with all your heart”. I'll just tell them myself thanks.

  • La liga, like the SPL just with better weather.

  • That moment when your brolly goes inside out during a particularly windy storm.

  • The hellish, ice-cold terror that is the five minutes between exiting the shower, getting dry and then getting dressed.

  • That Corrs Light ad, seriously how long has that been on for now?

  • Daniel Day Lewis and his “towering performances”. Getting a little boring now.

  • iTunes, do you need a Phd in the sciences to fully understand how it works?

  • Those little balls of fluff which form on your living room floor if you don't hoover for a while.

  • Getting chastised by beggars for not crossing their palms with silver.

  • Self-service checkout ditherers, if you don't know how it works just use the normal tills.

  • Painstakingly hanging an enormous load of washing on the clothes horse and then watching it collapse under the strain.

  • Internet-exclusive terms like 'trolling', 'flaming' and 'griefing'. 

  • Civilians openly urinating in public, DURING THE DAY. What the fuck is wrong with these people?